loving you

Loving you has introduced me to so many new feelings. I guess thats what loving does for a person. It makes you settle for less and it introduces you to so many unfamiliar things and feelings. Every person that enters our lives has their own ways of being significant to us. It surprises me that everyday you give me so many more reasons to smile. You surprise me...it surprises me that I remember every single detail that you say about yourself to me that somehow before the day ends YOU will slip into my mind. There are times where the thought of you makes me smile...and there are just days where the thought of you makes me sad. Only because somehow I know that thoughts of you arent enough and because at the back of my mind there are just times where I just wanna give up. But then again...how can I give up? How can I give up when I cant even let you go? The grips too tight...It makes me sad because I am scared that I might not be able to spend time with you watching the sunset or watching a movie or going out of town and discovering new places. I wanna do those things with you. I want to introduce you to so many wonderful feelings just like what youve done to me...I wanna go to places that I have never been before and expirience their culture with you. I just...wanna be with you...

Sometimes I wonder if you think of me just like how I think of you...if you remember the small things about me that I tell you just like how I remember those of you...maybe not...Sometimes i just wanna get tired already. Get tired of holding on to something that is not so sure. This maybe the biggets cliche...but how can something that is wrong and unsure make you feel RIGHT and SURE just the thought of it? Writing this letters has made life a little easier for me. Because somehow I get to let you know how I feel or let someone know how I feel for you for that matter. You may not get the chance to read this...I may not be able to tell you all this in person. But atleast I have shown you and told the world how important you are to me.

exerpts from the original blog entry @ micuore.blogdrive.com

settling for less

Todays you're birthday...

I was so ecstatic the whole day...thinking how you reacted to the birthday box I sent you. Wondering why you haven't texted me yet that you've received it. A little bit worried that it might've not arrived on time or worse...I got the wrong address.
Then I texted you fine it was just a forwarded message but I was thinking that might start the conversation. And off course I was right! You replied by saying that I rock and that you loved everything in it. I was smiling by myself for about 30 minutes. Then I replied that I'm glad you liked it.

Then I started crying...pathetic I know. But it was all tears of joy. Holy crap I even remember hearing myself say that I can die now because for the first time in ages I made you happy thinking how much I made you're day. I know...this love sucks. Its making me so dramatic and pathetic. But on the brighter side I realized how much you've taught me. You have taught me to love selflessly and unconditionally. Not thinking if I would get something in return. And just as I have said in the long run...it wouldn't matter if well end up together because I know that whatever the outcome may be...I will still have you even just for a friend.

Loving someone really makes someone settle for less huh? Settle for whatever it is that comes close. I wouldn't deny the fact that sometimes I still wish that wed end up together instead of you ending up with someone else but in reality...deep in my heart all I ever wanted is for you to be happy. And I know that if I'm not the right one for you...in the end GOD will heal me and give someone that will make me feel a far more wonderful feeling than what I now have for you.

happy birthday...ü

entry originally posted @ micuore.blogdrive.com