Just as the fray's song goes "there are certain people you just keep coming back to..." For 4 years I kept on telling myself that I am over you. I have been in and out of relationships, even thought that I finally found the person that I'de spend the rest of my life with. But then you kept on haunting me. The person that made me feel special in many more ways, the person that I thought I'de spend the rest of my life with, the person whom I thouht finally stole my heart from you...is you're bestfriend. No he doesn't know how much you mean to me. I didn't do it on purpose either. 3 years of not having communication with you made me realize that WE are not meant to be...or so I thought... Seeing you again after 3 years felt like I was back to never never land. You still have the same effect on me, as if it was just yesterday that you told me you love me. And not just like any other, my knees weakened and my heart was thumping like a bunny on ecstacy. My smile won't seem to fade... You made me realize that the relationship I have with you're friend is not perfect after all, infact you opened my eyes to the fact that I should be treated better than he treats me. So I gave it up. It wasnt easy doing so, because I have loved him as best as I can and I gave everything I can. But it didnt worked...its just not meant to be...
Now you're there. Single, just like me. After 4 years its as if we we're back to the same old game that we use to play. The foundation is so much stronger this time. We are friends, the trust and honesty are there to back up the "relationship" that we have. You still have the same effect on me, and you are claiming that we are friends...nothing more...
Over the years, my prayers never stopped. We had an unfinished business and all I ever wanted ever since is a closure. I want us to be atleast friends. I thought maybe in that case this feeling would just go away. And now after 4 years you came walking into my life again, now that we're friends I am not sure if I want us to remain friends...JUST friends.
I know somehow at the back of my mind being an "item" is just not possible right now. But I want you to know how grateful I am for having you in my life right now. For the conversations in the wee hours of the morning, for bringing me where I need to be when I am drunk, for making me smile on times when I feel like the world has turn its back on me, and for continously making me believe that miracles happen and prayers can be answered...
blog entry orginally posted @ micuore.blogdrive.com
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